Sub: In T minus 20 minutes

I find out if I’m a candidate for Lasik. Wish me luck.

Sub: Instead of writing radio scripts, I wrote this.

An Ode to my Tapeworm:

O tapeworm, my tapeworm.
You leave me with no rest.
You keep me unsatisfied,
My stomach a hunger-fest.

I can’t concentrate
With the growling in my gut.
All I can think of throughout the day
Is forcing you out my butt.

So hungry I could cry,
Of starvation I will die,
Please stop eating my food, tapeworm,
At least leave me one fucking fry.

Sub: Just made an appointment...

...at Coleman vision. Eep.

Sub: Yesterday...

...i should have showered.