Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Friday, September 30, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Sub: I will soon have the power
To see your underwear through your clothes.
I can’t wait to have one less handicap. God knows I have enough.
<Regarding Maria's recent Lasik procedure>
I can’t wait to have one less handicap. God knows I have enough.
<Regarding Maria's recent Lasik procedure>
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Sub: Things I learned yesterday
- There is something worse than having the hiccups for 8 hours straight: having your boob itch for 8 hours straight. Woke up this morning, and It was gone. But not after an entire day of unladylike clawing.
- Two gallons of LSD is enough to make EVERY PERSON IN AMERICA trip balls. Thank you, History Channel.
- Eating a burrito from Frontier at midnight is NOT a good idea. Technically this was a lesson I learned today. For the 158th time.
- Glasses aren’t so bad. But they have only won the battle. They will not win the war!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, September 19, 2011
Sub: Today I feel...
with a side of
Ten songs at Baby Ketten Karaoke. Ugh. I’m such a dork. Anyway, I’m really glad you came, I had a blast making a complete ass of myself in front of you et al. Next time we should do a fully choreographed number from Glee. That’s about as dorky as I felt last night. Anyway. Have a good day. If I don’t answer my phone, I’ve checked out. Bring toothpicks.
Silver lining: My hair looks fucking awesome today.
Love,
Maria
Friday, September 16, 2011
Sub:Feeling slightly better today.
I only had a pretzel at the fair last night. Tried to be a carnivore for a day and have a corn dog, but I just couldn’t do it. It’s the catholic jewish hippie guilt in me. I rode the dizzy dragon with parker, and spent the rest of the evening being “stuffed animal jacket soda holder”. Daniel made fun of the mini van when I got to work this morning. I told him henry rollins has ridden in that van. He told me I have tattoos so I can do what I want. I internally wiped the sweat off my brow and sighed with relief. Anyway. Good morning.
Love,
Maria
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